I came to know Shirley through Richard  - as did my wife Irene. As I met Richard not many years before he retired, there will be many, besides family of course, like schoolfriends, professional colleagues, neighbours etc, who have much longer and deeper recollections of them both. But for us, it developed into a friendship we valued so much with two wonderful people who seemed to complement and fulfil each other. We did see Shirley after Richard sadly died and realised even more what a very special and caring person she was. We will miss her very much, as we do Richard - but we have very warm memories to draw on, particularly of lunches at the Farmer’s Club and in particular, of outings to the Royal Opera House.


When I was a civil servant at the agriculture department, Richard and I had regular meetings to talk potatoes. This was quite late in his career - I wish I’d known him longer. Our talks began to extend into wider things. Richard invited me to meet him for lunch at the Farmer’s Club - a hospitable place where he was very much at home  - and this became a regular, most enjoyable thing after I retired.  I learned more about Richard and his family and started to hear more about Shirley - including all the things she was continuing to do both for the family and around the village, despite the very serious medical problems she was dealing with. Because the lunches fitted with Shirley’s medical appointments, Shirley herself often joined us, latterly Irene too. 


It was a privilege to spend time with Richard and Shirley as a couple together - very down to earth, very kind and caring individuals, very proud of their children’s achievements, and of their grandchildren, committed to each other.  No one could be other than impressed by the strength and perseverance  -and faith and science too! - that Shirley drew on in the face of the difficulties she overcame with such stoicism.


When it emerged that we liked the opera too,  Richard said he had decided to go with Shirley as often as he could while he could and he asked if we’d like to join them. This was the start of a great time for Irene and me. Richard would organise tickets for the Opera House, usually in the same box he liked (well positioned both for the facilities and for ice cream in the interval!) and we’d meet up there, enjoy the opera and then go for refreshments somewhere afterwards. The opportunity for chatting in an opera box meant we got to know Richard and Shirley even more.


Richard’s passing away brought a close to this phase but the Farmer’s Club did the proper thing and transferred his lengthy membership to Shirley (I think she was pleased to be a farmer!)- so we were able to see her there once or twice  - and respected her even more then for how she carried on and continued to express so much love for and interest in her family and community. We enjoyed her lovely cards and letters every so often. Shirley was a strong person, clear and confident,  We loved her quick wit and great sense of fun. We miss her.


Jeremy and Irene Cowper